Moments after we moved to Chicago I started seeing the book MWF seeking BFF (let us pause so I can tell you that when I told my friend about the book she asked what the MWF stood for and I paused, and then said, I don't know. Monday Wednesday Friday? This lead her to almost peeing herself because HI. It's Married. White. Female. Ohhhhhh) popping up in everyone's online world. Goodreads, Instagram, Facebook. This book was everywhere.
So I looked closer and saw it was a book about a 28 year old woman living in Chicago who spent a year going on 52 girl dates on a mission to make friends in Chicago and hopefully find her next BFF.
DING DING DING! I'll take it!
We'd arrived in Chicago on a Wednesday, and by Saturday Adam and I were boarding the train on our way to a party with a bunch of strangers from Adam's work (thank you thank you Adam's work friends). Our train would be about a half hour ride, so I downloaded MWF seeking BFF to my Kindle and headed to our party.
By the time I'd gotten off the train I was ready. To meet people. To find a commonality. To be forward and ask for numbers of girls I might like to get to know better. I was ready to date some ladies.
Because you know what? It IS dating. You scan the room for people "like you", you try to find a reason to chat, if you spot a commonality you capitalize on it, ask questions, engage, remember to listen! seem interesting!, and then you have to get up the balls if the connection is there to ask for the digits. And just like dating dudes, if you were the brazen one asking for numbers, you have to put your money where your mouth is on the follow up. The scary, horrible, no good follow up.
By the time we left that party I had two numbers! Maybe I would have been that forward without reading the book, but maybe not.
What makes MWF seeking BFF perfect is the fact that it isn't a self help title aimed at teaching you how to meet people, it's simply the story of one person's quest to change how she approached making friends. It's the soft nudge most of us need to remember to put ourselves out there, to go for the uncomfortable, and to remember that as much as we'd like new friends, those other girls probably would as well so there's no harm in asking.
Since reading the book I've met up for an after work drink with one of those first phone numbers I collected, and it was terrifying as I walked to the brewery for my essentially blind girl date, but when I left two hours later after laughter and non stop talking I was thrilled. Being forward FTW! I've signed Adam and I up for a volleyball team even though we don't play volleyball, and am working on scheduling a couples drink with another girl from that first party. And when a fellow MWF seeking BFF reader read my review for the book on Goodreads and reached out via Goodreads messages I jumped at the chance to connect with another Chicagoland resident. Maybe we'll meet in the middle of our neighborhoods for a dog park date, maybe it's a nice person I will only exchange emails with online, only time will tell.
Maybe my take charge attitude about friendship is just a byproduct of the fact that I've moved a lot and I'm getting better at this because I have to, or maybe right now it's the book making me feel bold.
Either way, it seems to be working.